JLE#27: Week 7 Story
Story
The monk began his pilgrimage through the forest just before
dawn. He did not want to attract any
natural predators of the forest by making his way through there at a later hour
in the evening. As he was walking
through the forest, he could only think about the news he and his companions
heard in the monastery. Two young girls’
mother and brother attacked and eaten by a panther! “How terrible” he thought to himself and as
the thought slowly slipped from his mind, he began to hasten his pace
throughout the forest. He was passing an
immense tree when he saw a figure running towards him in red. A girl had stopped in front of him and asked
him “if anyone is following me tell them you have not seen anyone in this
forest” and the monk agreed. The girl continued
to sprint at an impressive rate and soon the monk no longer saw her.
Not long after the encounter with the girl, the monk began
to take a break when suddenly a beautiful horse covered in plated armor seemed
to appear in front of him. The rider was
in emerald and gold-plated armor and carried with him a diamond- tipped spear. The rider asked, “have you seen a girl or
anyone roaming through this forest?” the monk replied simply with “I have not”
the rider replied, “I have been commissioned from the heavens to track down one
who may be passing through this forest, do not lie to me.” The monk took a second look at the crest worn
by the rider and then another look at the armor and its magnificent gold and
emerald craftsmanship. The monk asked
the rider for his identity and the rider replied with “I am Guan Yu; the God of
War and I have been sent here to eliminate a foe that wreaks havoc on those
living in peace.” The monk only could
think about the poor girls who lost half of their family to the panther not
long ago. The monk then told Guan Yu he
had seen a girl moving swiftly past him and telling him not to acknowledge her presence. Guan Yu told the monk he was grateful for the
honesty and that the girl is not a girl at all.
“It is a flying ogre” said Guan Yu.
Terrible creatures that wreak havoc and devastation. The monk was visibly confused because he did
not believe a woman like that would do any harm to anyone. Guan Yu explained the ogres can take the form
of any person or object and that he was after one of the most notorious beings. He was commissioned to eliminate the ogre
after it posed as a panther and killed a mother and her son. The monk was horrified and thankful at the
same time because the ogre could have killed him too. He then wished Guan Yu farewell and he and his
horse set off in the direction of their mission.
Author’s note:
In this story I stayed in line with the original plot. A monk is passing through a forest and
encounters a girl in red who is running from someone. In the original story she has more magical
characteristics for example she flies up the large trunk of the tree that I
briefly mention. The rider that chases
her is much closer to her in proximity and when the monk is asked, he tells him
he has seen the girl and points to the large tree she is hiding in. the rider and his horse also fly up the trunk
of the tree and the monk then sees blood spilling down the tree. However, the rider is not Guan Yu. Guan Yu was another story The Chinese God
of War that I read. In his story he
is killed, but forever a heavenly figure.
I thought by adding him in that it would signify the importance of eliminating
the flying ogre. Commissioning him from
the heavens is meant to be significant and I assume that the reader might also
assume that the journey from heavens to the normal world is quite a journey. I also alluded to another story in the
Chinese Fairy Tales unit—The Panther.
In this story there is a mother with two girls and one son. She takes her son to see her mother and is
then eaten by a panther. I thought up of
alluding to this story as well because most of the stories in the unit were
short and maybe I could intertwine them for a little creativity. In my story, I was implying that the panther was
a flying ogre disguised as a panther.
Since the ogre killed the woman and her son, Guan Yu was then commissioned
to kill to ogre because it had caused devastation to that family.
Source: The Chinese Fairy Book, ed. by R. Wilhelm and translated by Frederick H. Martens (1921).
Hey Jack! Good job on the story! You were really creative in pulling all those stories together like that! It added up to a very well thought out original story. I like how we got to see the monk's thoughts and perspective throughout the story. You would expect it to be told from Guan Yu's perspective, but it's refreshing that it's a bystander's point of view. I wonder where the monk was going though? Was the ogre running to a specific place or just away from Guan Yu? Also, who from the heavens commissioned Guan Yu? Was it just the gods or a specific god or being? There were a few grammatical errors I saw, but other than that great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Jack,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you were able to tie several disparate stories together with a central theme and collection of characters! That takes quite a bit of work and story planning, I can attest as I did it for one of my stories, and is really impressive to see it pulled off as well as you did in this story! One question I had from this story is how the ogre got to the place it was? Did it escape from somewhere or recently become a threat? I ask because it is odd for it to start a reign of terror recently in a region where it had a history of peace. It that made clear in one of the original stories, or left up to the reader's discretion? Overall, I loved the story and am excited to see what else you have to write this semester!
Hi Jack. Great story you have so far! I was not familiar with this story until I read yours and compared it to the original. You really blended these stories and characters beautifully (I think you might have an act for writing)! I agree with Reid, how did the ogre get here? This was not clear in your story so maybe just add a little bit to elaborate on that otherwise I think your story is solid. Great work! (this is Syd, again I am on my boyfriends laptop)
ReplyDeleteJack,
ReplyDeleteI liked reading your story! I was very drawn in and was very excited to see how it was going to end! I like how you combined multiple stories together to create your own version. The creativity in the story was super fun! I thought it was cool that the ogre could shape shift and impersonate different creatures. In the back of my mind, I thought that what if Guan Yu was the actual bad guy. Guan Yu could be the true ogre and was impersonating a rider and in reality was chasing after his next victim. Great story!
Hi Jack,
ReplyDeleteI like that you decided to go with the original plot of the Chinese fairytale, but also make it your own in some ways! I like how you used other stories from the unit in your story to kind of tie everything together! I think in the future if you want to control the pacing of your story you could use more line breaks/ paragraphs in order to build suspense!
Hey Jack,
ReplyDeleteThis was a really well written story. I think you did a good job of staying in line with the original plot while adding aspects of many different stories. I also like how you broke down your thought process and the additions you made in your authors notes. I really enjoyed the ending I definitely think Guan Yu being commissioned for revenge was a great ending. Keep up the great work!
Hey Jack,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you integrate aspects of several stories to make your own. The integration is seamless, and you do a great job of meshing the ideas and characters. The tone of the story starts a little dreary and suspenseful, and I like how it continues until the dialogue with Guan Yu. I like how the story ends with an idea of what is going to happen next, but there are still paths in which the reader can question and ponder. Like is Guan Yu who he says he is, or is he actually the flying ogre seeking to win over the monk and the girl is a normal character? The slight ambiguity of what happens next is a great ending because it leaves me interested and thinking. Great story, Jack!